Examples of judgment (16)

  Date:July 12, 1948

Testimony by brother W. C.

  I was born into a Christian family. In my youth I heard many Bible stories. At the age of sixteen I began to turn against all religions. In 1935 I graduated from school and became a teacher. I heard the gospel at Fourth Street in Chefoo through Brother Witness Lee, who preached on the sinful woman in John 8. God showed me that I was a sinner as well. I was saved in a clear way. After my salvation I consecrated myself to the Lord, daily caring more for the gospel than for my own food. This peak condition did not last long. Soon I returned to my hometown and became cold toward the Lord. I stopped reading the Bible and praying, and I became the same as an unbeliever. Later the Lord allowed sickness to come to me. At first I almost became blind. Later I vomited blood. Both my grandfather and father died of tuberculosis. In my sickness the Lord spoke to me, saying, “Fear not. Only believe. Nothing is impossible for those who believe.” I lay in bed for sixteen months. Although I was extremely weak physically, to the point that I would fall on my knees when I tried to stand up, I was empowered in my inward being. In 1939 I returned to Chefoo, and the Lord gradually recovered my fellowship with Him. The Lord has cleansed me within and without once again.

  During my time in the church, the Lord would not let go of me in many things. I began to coordinate with the brothers and sisters to serve the Lord in the church. I am a timid person. Spiritually speaking, I sometimes find it hard to stand upon my feet. Inwardly, I often feel dry and am fearful of hardships along the way. I once heard Brother Nee as well as Sister Wang say that this way is narrow and hard. Later I went to Brother Witness Lee. Through fellowship I became clear that I should quit my teaching job and give all my time to the church. In 1943 there was a great revival in Chefoo, Shangtung, and I consecrated my all. I consecrated not only my possessions but my self and my whole family to the Lord. My great-grandfather once mentioned me by name and consecrated me to the Lord. As I recall that incident now, I realize God has honored his consecration. This time I said, “From now on, I will offer myself to You. I will give up my freedom.” I do not know what the Lord will do to me in the future. I know that He has created me and redeemed me, and I should serve Him in an absolute way.

Brother Nee’s comment

  Our brother said that at times he could not rise up, that he felt dry within. I hope that you will ignore these feelings from this point forward. Whether or not you can rise up, you should let go of your feelings. You should only commit yourself to the hand of the Lord, believing that the Lord can accomplish everything. He will spontaneously bring you through. There are many problems that we cannot overcome by ourselves. However, when we look to Him and draw near to Him, the problems go away. When a caterpillar walks, it does not consider whether it should move its eighth leg or its tenth leg first. If it did that, the problem with its mind would become a problem with its walk. In the end it would not be able to walk at all. If it does not think about walking, it will have no problem in the mind. When there is no problem with the mind, there is no problem with the practice, and it walks.

  The more you try to deal with your inner dryness, burden, and debilitation, the less you will be able to get through. If you consider them a problem, they will become a problem to you. If you forget them and let go of them, they will go away. Sometimes we overcome problems by warfare, but sometimes we overcome problems by forgetting them. Many things have to be overcome with power and strength. But sometimes they are overcome by simply forgetting them. If we boast in our weaknesses and give up our struggling and our ways, His power will overshadow us. The secret lies in praying for a vision of God’s riches. We should see the Lord’s glory while we study the Word, pray, or fellowship with the brothers in the meeting. Once we see this, we will forget our weaknesses. The inward filling often is related very much to our forgetting, and our forgetting is related very much to touching the Lord. Once we touch the Lord, we will no longer look at ourselves.

  Our brother told us that he once vomited blood, but through prayer he was healed. Since he has been on the mountain here, he has vomited blood again. We pray that the Lord would be merciful to him and heal him. There are three things we should know with regard to healing. First, we should not tempt God. Second, we should not accept the symptoms of sickness. Third, we should believe in the sufficiency of His grace for us. Timothy had a chronic ulcer, and Paul advised him not to drink water. At that time the Jews dug water cisterns under their houses and either collected rain water or directed other water into these cisterns. There was bacteria in the water, and it was not sanitary drinking water. Paul advised Timothy to take some wine (1 Tim. 5:23), which could warm and invigorate the blood. Paul had the gift of healing, and he healed many sick ones. But he did not heal Timothy. Timothy himself was also gifted, but he could not heal his own ulcer. God had no word for Timothy. Timothy did not say, “I can drink water, and I can drink wine,” because this would be tempting God. Paul said that he could take some wine. Timothy would not tempt God by drinking the dead water from the muddy cisterns. Outwardly speaking, there is no difference in the conduct of those who tempt God and those who trust God. The difference lies in the fact that one does not have God’s word and the other does. Outwardly speaking, there is no difference in the conduct of those who walk by God’s word and those who walk without God’s word. But if one stands up to walk without having God’s word, he is tempting God. If he has God’s word, he can ignore all rules of hygiene. When he does not have God’s word, he cannot act contrary to any natural law. In the Gospels, the Lord healed the man with the withered hand because He had spoken to the man. Once the man had the Lord’s word, he did not have to wait for his symptoms to go away; he only needed to believe that he was healed. He could ignore the symptoms of his sickness, stretch out his hand according to the Lord’s word, and be healed. The Lord’s word is trustworthy; symptoms are not trustworthy. The lame man did not need to wait until he became strong to take up his bed and walk. When the Lord told him to take up his bed, he took up his bed. If we have God’s word, we do not have to consider our pulse or our fever. But if we do not have God’s word, we have to abide by the rules of hygiene. Once we have God’s word, we can be extreme; we do not need to be afraid of anything.

  Only one third of Charles Stanley’s lungs function, yet he is constantly engaged in open-air evangelism. The audience can range in number from two or three thousand to six or seven thousand. He has been preaching this way for thirty years. He has God’s word, and there is no problem for him to work this way. But if one does not have God’s word, such a thing would be suicide. If we have the Lord’s word and can trust in Him, we can rise above all symptoms of sickness. When I am sick and I know that God wants to heal me with His word, I only need to deal with His word; I do not have to deal with the sickness itself. If God says that I will be healed, I only need to focus on God’s healing; His word will stop my illness. If I continue to deal with the sickness itself, I will make God’s word of none effect. I can rejoice when the fever goes down a little, but I do not need to fret when it goes up a little. If God has a word for us, we do not need to worry even if our fever goes up tomorrow. We do not have to listen to the blood cells, and our eyes do not have to be set on the thermometer. We lay hold of God’s word. The fever and the blood cells are not our lords. The white blood cells can increase, but we do not have to worry about them. We need to learn to obey God’s law. We can laugh at the fever; whether it is high or low is not our concern. We have to learn to trust in God’s word, not the symptoms. If we have God’s word, we have the spiritual reality, and this spiritual reality is more real than the symptoms of sickness.

  I was once sick myself. However, God gave me His word and healed me. I only knew to answer to God’s word. I only dealt with God’s word and refused to deal with the symptoms of sickness. When God said that He had healed me, it meant that He had stopped the illness. If I had dealt with the illness again, I would have made God’s word of none effect. I did not rejoice when the fever went down a little, and I did not fret when it went up a little. My eyes were not set on my temperature, but on God’s word. My temperature and the number of blood cells were not my lords. Only the Lord is Lord. We should learn to smile at our fever and not be concerned with our temperature. We have to learn to trust in God’s word, not in our symptoms. Only God’s word is true; the symptoms are false. If God’s word says that we are healed, we are healed. If God’s word says that we are well, but we still spit blood, this is a time when our faith is being tested. God’s word says, “You are healed,” but the symptoms say, “You are not healed.” At such times we have to believe in God’s word, not in the symptoms. The sickness will change. In my experience, I was not able to believe at first because I did not have God’s word. But one day His word came. Yet the symptoms became worse. I stood up and said, “Lord, if the symptoms are deceptive, I ask You to rebuke them.” Within one or two hours, my sickness was gone. Do not forget what the Gospel of John tells us: God’s word is truth (17:17).

  I had problem with my lungs, kidneys, and pancreas. Even now I have a problem with my heart. In 1923 I had peritonitis for the first time. I was in bed for over a month. When I breathed I felt pain. I had a high fever, and the pain was excruciating. At that time Brother Simon Meek gathered some brothers and sisters to pray for me. When he prayed, I did not feel anything. Another sister (M. E. Barber) prayed, “Lord, no one praises You in the grave; if our brother dies, You will not have his praise.” As she prayed, something broke through in me, even though the fever was still present, and I was still in pain. The next day I rose up and went to Lo-hsing Pagoda to work on the first issue of The Christian. If we do not have God’s word, we should take care of our body. If we have God’s word, we should never look at the symptoms. We should consider the symptoms temptations and lies. They cannot remain; they have to go.

  Some sicknesses go away immediately. Others do not. Once I was sick, and I asked the Lord for healing. The Lord said, “The healing will not come that quick. But My grace is sufficient for you.” He showed me a ship that was unable to sail on a river because of rocks. He said, “Do you want Me to remove the rocks so that the ship can go through, or do you want the water level to rise so that it covers the rocks, and the ship can sail through?” I was immediately clear within about the Lord’s desire, and I said, “Lord, I do not ask for the removal of the problem but for the increase of grace.”

  Removing the rocks is one way, and increasing the water level is another way. Both are acceptable, and either is good. There is no sickness in this world that a Christian cannot overcome. If we have the Lord’s word, our eyes should not be set on the symptoms. We must believe that God is faithful. We should only contact God’s word. There is no need to look to the symptoms to justify our faith, and there is no need to worry if they contradict our faith. The rocks may still be around, but the water level has risen, not just a little but a great measure, and the ship is able to sail through. This is our way.

  In summary, there are three things we should pay attention to: First, if we do not have God’s word, we should not tempt God. Second, if we have God’s word, we should not look at the symptoms. Third, if we have God’s word but are not healed immediately, we should realize that His grace is sufficient. The Lord has no intention to leave us in sickness without granting us sufficient grace. Paul was sick, yet he labored more than anyone else. Sickness did not stop Paul from working, nor should it stop us from serving our God. We have to learn to be simple, committing ourselves to the faithful and trustworthy Lord. The Lord will deal with us according to what is best for us.