Examples of judgment (5)

  Date:June 24, 1948

Testimony by brother T. T.

  I found God’s light through defeat and failure, and this light led me to this way. In taking this way, I have often tried to deal with myself. Why is it that I cannot concentrate my thoughts? I like to read spiritual books, but it is difficult for me to concentrate my thoughts. As I fellowshipped with Brother Nee more and more, I found life and life supply in his speaking. I like to listen to him. Other people have said that I was following Brother Nee. Once I met Brother Witness Lee, and he asked if I had received the Lord’s calling. He also asked if I merely was saving people for heaven. He even said that my work was isolated and uncoordinated. These remarks brought me to tears before the Lord. Later I met Brother Nee, and he told me not to go into the seminary or to busily research the Scriptures. I first should learn not to work for the Lord before I can learn to work for Him. Still later I heard another brother say that he had stopped working because it was God’s will, and that God’s will was to do His work alone. At that time I looked at myself and judged that I was not qualified to be a preacher. I do not have any gift, and I am physically weak. I am always filled with negative and pessimistic thoughts. I also feel that I cannot maintain the constant presence of the Lord, and my spirit is not strong enough.

Brother Nee’s comment

  There are two sides to God’s presence, His side and our side. There is no problem on God’s side. On our side, we have to exercise our spirit. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship Him in spirit. Our spirit must be able to flow out in a pure way before we can secure God’s presence in a consistent way.

  The first step a Christian should take is not to pursue power for his inward being, but purity in his spirit. The matter of power comes later. Spiritual power comes from the presence of God. If a person wants to have power first and purity later, he is taking the wrong course. In order for the spirit to be pure, we first have to find what kind of mixture there is in the spirit. The main reason for impurity in the spirit is the mixture of the old man. As soon as the old man is broken, purity of the spirit can be realized. The problem with us today is that the opinions of the old man, along with its proposals and feelings, are all mixed up with the spirit. We have only one spirit. If this spirit is contaminated by the old man, it is hard to purge itself. There is only one center in our nervous system, yet the feelings of the various parts of the body are different. If we ask a man with a fever how he feels, he will say that he feels hot. The doctor will explain that he feels hot physiologically because his nervous system is one unified whole. If there were more than one center to his nervous system, the matter would be much more complicated. A doctor has to find ways to diagnose a sickness according to various symptoms and treat it accordingly. This is the way God works. He first removes all of our false feelings so that we become inwardly pure. Some are strong in their mind, confused in their emotion, and stubborn in their will. If they remain in these conditions, their spirit will never be sensitive. For this reason, sometimes God has to give us many sufferings and trials. He uses these things to train us. He has to knock off all the conspicuous corners and deal with our soul-life. Once He does this, we can exercise our spirit as freely as we exercise our hands. The natives of India practice asceticism; they restrict their hands from moving. But if the hands do not move, they will wither away. This is not the Christian way. A Christian has to learn to exercise his spirit. God is Spirit. Therefore, we have to exercise our spirit. We cannot allow any strong spots in our natural life to remain in us. If we do, they have to be knocked off.

  A new believer has a simple spirit. Although his spirit is not strong, neither is it mixed. If he continues this way, he will grow in a balanced way. A man has to pay the price to learn God’s presence. It is easier for a simple person to touch God’s presence. Although the outer man can be busy working, the inner man can remain calm in God all the time. In order to secure God’s presence, the first thing we need is, of course, purity of heart. But the inner man must also be separated from the outer man. If the inner man is not distracted by the outer man, it will have no trouble maintaining God’s presence. It is not a matter of leaving and then returning to God’s presence, but a matter of remaining in His presence all the time. Our spirit is the organ with which we fellowship with God. We have to manage this organ properly and calibrate it finely. This is not a matter of morality but a matter of exercise. We must exercise ourselves to the point that we can be in God’s presence no matter how busy we are. Otherwise, we can hear a great sermon, but it will not do us any good when we return home; the next time we come, we will be the same as before.

  Let us turn our attention to another matter. How can we enter resurrection? At the time we were regenerated, we received all the power of resurrection there is to receive. But God has to grant us a spirit of revelation to see and a spirit of wisdom to know. Ephesians tells us that we know resurrection by the Holy Spirit (1:17, 19-20). Philippians tells us that we know resurrection by the cross (3:10). In Christ we see resurrection. What we see is not the corruption of the body but the power of resurrection. When we pray to God, we do not ask for power, but for a spirit of wisdom and revelation. Once we have this, we will know the greatness of His power. This knowing is a great thing; it is exceedingly precious. The power of resurrection comes from prayer. May the Lord grant us a spirit of wisdom and revelation and open our eyes to see resurrection. No power in this world is greater than the power of death. Only the resurrection life can overcome this death. We know the power of resurrection through the Holy Spirit because the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of resurrection.

  The resurrection in Philippians 3 enables us to partake of His death. This “partaking” is very special. Moreover, the cross spoken of in Philippians 3 is different from the cross spoken of elsewhere in the Bible; this is the cross of resurrection. In other places resurrection comes after the cross. But Philippians 3 shows us that we can suffer with Him and be conformed to His death after we have known the power of Christ’s resurrection. The sequence between resurrection and death is reversed. Elsewhere death comes before resurrection. Here death is experienced through the resurrection life. The death in Romans 6 is a historical fact, while the death in Philippians 3 is a principle. Christ’s life on earth bore the element of resurrection. Although He was crucified on the cross, He could not die, because resurrection was in Him. This resurrection is something spiritual; it is not related to the resurrection of His body.

  Just as the Lord lived the crucified life through the resurrection life on earth, and just as He expressed resurrection in this way, our living should be permeated with the flavor of the cross. We should be the outpoured wine which others can drink. We should be the broken bread which others can eat. The cross in Philippians comes after resurrection.

  It would be good if you could find a brother with some authority to act as your overseer. After some time you will realize the benefit of such a covering. The calling of some people requires them to charge forward by themselves. The calling of others requires them to come under some authority. We have to wait and obey and look to God to prepare the proper authority for us. I hope that there will be a proper center in your region so that you can have a proper way to go on and so that there will be remaining fruits in the church life.